Jun 15, 2009
Journal 001
Ive been so filled with anger rage and hate. So many emotions of betrayal lies and deceit. So how the fcuk do you expect me to smile through this all. How do i hold in such feelings. Its not just you, its you you and you. like seriously, fuck off. Yes i have anger problems and should be put in anger management classes but that mean you should be in class for instigator management. Everyday i hold in as much as i could, i try to be the happy one and make everyone happy but that can only go for so long. Everyone tells me i gotta take care of myself before i take care of others, that is close to impossible to me. But do the impossible right? I gotta practice what i preach. But what if i preach two different perspectives that clash? What if i say let it go, no regret. But what if letting it go means you'll regret it?
My heart broke and I told myself that, that was a good thing. Ive told myself if i don't have a heart anymore, i wont ever hurt again. But you need a heart to live, so i built a fake one that hold nothing. I never knew if that broke it will hurt equally.Whatever i do my protect myself ends up hurting me more. Karma a bitch. Even if its to yourself.
Dont fucking call me emo cause this isnt a oh-i-hate-my-life note. Its a i-hate-you note. I actually enjoy my life, just not my little encounter with you.
p.s For the people that think this is meant for them, take a damn fucking bow cause it probably is. You should be proud, you got me to write something about you with such strong emotions.
I LOVE YOU 7:22 PM
♥ Desires
Clothes :
Abercrombie & Finch Emma Boot Destroy $110 // Greta $80
Coach Plaid Hi-tops $108 //Madison Op Art Wristlet $58
Lululemon Beat The Heat Dress $?? // Sweater ( White, Black, Purple) $98 // Hip Hop Crop Pants $68? // Dance Studio Pants II $68?
Rock & Republic Berlin Super Skinny Jeans $176 // Kasandra Alpha Jeans $205
Jeans
Nike Sweet Classic High SI (Purple, Orange, Red) $65
TNA Shorts, Sweats & Tights
Summer Dresses
Flip-Flop
Books :;
Teens :
The Van Alen Legacy by Melissa De La Cruz
Gentlemen by Michael Northrop
Bad Girls don’t Cry by Katie Alender
The Devouring by Simon Holt
Flirting With The Monster by Ellen Hopkins
Eternal by Cynthia Leitich Smith
The Reminder by Rune Michaels
Better Then Yesterday by Robyn Schneider
Maybe by Brent Runyon
Love Story by Erich Segal
Kiss Me Kill Me by Lauren Henderson
The Fallen by Celia Thomson
The Celebutants by Antonio Pagliarulo
Madapple by Christina Melm
Dead Is The New Block / Dead Is A State Of Mind / Dead Is So Last Year by Marlene Perez
Life AS It Comes by Anne-Laure Bondoux
What They Always Tell Us by Martion Wilson
Slept Away by Julie Kraut
Every Move by Peter McPhee
Black Is For Beginning by Laurie Faria Stolarz
Deadly little Secret
Fiction :
Still Life by Joy Fielding
Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin
Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella
Still Alice